Adjusting to Eshvarhen

Dear Sakkti Velan,

Your Amma thought it may be a good idea for me to be part of this blog, and so I shall be....

When you grow up, I need you to remember how you slowly grew to adapt to Eshvarhen being at home with us.

Initially, when Amma and I brought Eshvarhen home, you were very insecure. Amma and I had discussed repeatedly on how we should treat you when your little brother comes along, but there’s never an ideal way to deal with someone your age.

At two years and two months, you probably did not understand that no matter how many brother’s and sisters you will eventually get, you will always be my firstborn, and hence dear to me always. I suppose the fact that Rita Attai ALSO had a newborn in her house made things difficult for you, because you were the baby in TWO houses before Eshvarhen and Jeethendra were born, and your “babyship” got uprooted both at once.

For the first few days after Eshvarhen came back from the hospital, you would get out of bed in the morning and stand in front of Eshvarhen’s cot and ask me to turn Eshvarhen’s head so that he will look at you. You kept saying, “ Appa, baby paarku, baby na paarku”…I guess that meant you wanted the baby to see you. I obliged each time you asked so that you would be happy.

You refused to allow Eshvarhen to be put in your rocker, and you would wail and throw a tantrum each time. After Mina Patti and your Amma ignored you a couple of your tantrums, you settled down and allowed Eshvarhen to be out in the rocker.

You also insisted that we put Eshvarhen on your lap, which we did, and you would kiss Eshvarhen on his head, gently. But when I carry Eshvarhen you would press yourself on him until it hurt him, just a way for you to show your insecurity.

Your Amma sent you to stay with Ammama for a couple of days, but that did not help to reduce the insecurity. When you came home, you feared seeing Ammama in our house because you thought that you were going to get sent there again.

After the first two months, you begin to tell me that your thambi’s name is Eshvarhen, and you would ask me each time we took you out if Eshvarhen was coming along.

Anyway, Small Tiger, I know you’ll be just fine, and that you’ll always be a loving brother to Ehsvarhen. You have become the leader of the Devendren troop! Such a big responsibility on such small shoulders.

Always the Big Lion,
Appa